LET US COPY YOUR JOKES: 2009

Monday, December 28, 2009

i shouldn't be doing this, but nobody gives a shit about this blog

1. I wonder what would happen if i put links to every porn site george has gone to on his laptop here... apart from his denial.

2. fuck nethack's kobolds, fuck mw2's nade spammers, fuck tf2's OCD demomen, fuck dota and blists, fuck memes, fuck zendikar, fuck soldier decks, fuck cs source and its nade spammers, fuck my inverse sleep cycle, fuck eating non-2-minute-noodle meals, fuck that sentry, fuck the spy that's sappin it

3. GLADoS is automatic win, and must be eaten

4. DDR + nerds = hilarious fail dancing

5. Professionals + photoshop = large errors

6. 5 year old + photoshop = perfect comping

7. the fuck am i supposed to do with $350 worth of mtg cards

Monday, August 24, 2009

NOW, SHOULD I MAKE A WEBCOMIC?

Ossy has the plans of one. I have an idea.
Dudley's Dungeon > you

Friday, July 24, 2009

FUCK THIS

WHY ARE YOU A CHAOTIC MALE VALKYRIE TOM?
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?

in other words, i polymorphed into a soldier ant and was absorbed by jubilex, killing me. ON LEVEL ONE

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Complete and utter bullshit

so everyone's like "macs are so safe" and "mac software is great", but this is a pack of lies. for example, I accidentally switched off my mac while it was printing, and now it doesn't work. If you do that on, say, a VISTA computer, it will eject the blank sheet and STILL WORK. Also iTunes is a piece of shit when it comes to playing games AND listening to music.

iTunes + WoW = fine
iTunes + WarIII = fine
iTunes + word/excel = fine
iTunes + DOS games = fine
iTunes + combat arms = corrupt CA driver, had to reinstall
iTunes + counter strike = fine
iTunes + MapleStory = corrupt MS driver, was a test so fuck it

iTunes hates games that don't run on a mac

Sunday, June 7, 2009

To Quote Emily:

"Hmmm... I'm tired so I'm not exactly prepared for a rant. But hey, its in my head now and I don't want to lose it.

Well, it has come to my attention lately that, well, Baulko sucks. Hey, it might be excellent for our education and all that shit, but do they know what actually goes INTO that? Do they know the STRESS and anger it puts on its students? Most likely not...

For instance, I have been asking around recently as well as checking peoples MSN names and such because I have no life. It has come to my attention that the entirety of my contact list from Baulko have at least one assignment each week. Also, I just skimmed them then and some peoples totals are that of 5! Most of them are probably due within a week. Does ANYONE think this is fair? I'm pretty sure youd be mad if you did.

What about sleeping? Apparently Baulko students do not require such a useless and time consuming activity. I mean, what use does it have? No educational value at all and entirely unproductive. Stupid thing it is. So you know what? Let all the students at Baulko have no sleep, as it ruins valuable assignment time!! For instance, I know many people who stayed up into the early hours of the morn doing assignments... what good little Baulko students.

Now, has anyone noticed that the news is constantly telling us that our generation is so technological, and could no survive without the stuff? It is always saying all we do is sit in front of our computers all day, on our big fat butts doing nothing. Well, we kind of HAVE to be relying on technology these days. I doubt there is any assignment we could get that would require NO technology. We have to RESEARCH etc. Also, what about having to TYPE up things? We need technology for that, do we not? Stupid news people, think about it for a second. Its not like we spend the entire time we're on that chatting on MSN, playing games and doing stupid and time-wasting things like that.

They are also constantly wondering why WE are all becoming fat. They blame it on the horrible food we eat and the lack of exercise we are geting. Why, did they ever consider that exercise takes valuable assignment time away? Think about it, its either assignments or exercise. Technically we are trying to be good little people and do our school work. Then they tell us off for not exercising? Stupid people!!

And also, posture. They are constantly telling us off for posture. Now, take a second and look at the average student. Can they see them now? Slouching over with a backpack half the size and weight of them? We lug around our valuable maths, science, english and other wonderful textbooks along with dear exercise books. What would we do without them? THINK AGAIN STUPID PEOPLE! If you want our health to improve, think about the school related stresses we are dealing with.

Now, lets get on to a more serious point. Baulko is actually beginning to make people reach their breaking points. I know a few people now who have become suicidal because of the stress they are under. This is pretty damn serious. People are wanting to die. I don't know about you, but I think thats pretty sad. I'm beginning to wonder whether Baulko is doing us wonders or horrors. I mean, death is final. There is no reversal. I don't want to lose my friends to school. I have enough to worry about without my friends leaving me. I don't know how I'd cope if any of my friends were to die on me. I'd probably become so depressed and end up being suicidal as well. Think about it. Its a chain reaction.
The people who die as teenagers miss out on so many things. They miss out on marriage, learning to drive, being able to drink... all things I'm sure some of you look forward to. They will never get to experience those kinds of things once they pass away. Its a sad, sad thing for someone to die. Believe me, I know as would some of you guys.

So think about it, Baulko is giving us a hell of a lot of shit these days. But cummon, we can pull through together. I don't know how, but we've got to do it.

Hey look, I avoided writing my essay for another night!! xD I guess I'll just have to go and sleep for the next 12 hours and NO ONE WILL STOP ME!"

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Lost and found

1 Ranger of Eos (Ozzy's)

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Lost & Found Magic Cards

1 Ranger of Eos
1 Silhana Ledgewalker

Saturday, May 23, 2009

Hypocrisy

fuck you too. don't swear

Stolen because i can't rephrase it and agree

I would like to tell you all to stop. Specifically, stop arguing.
Who cares if orange juice is cowardly in your eyes?
Who cares if bad luck is a narcissistic and anti-social?
Who cares if he who manages tasks sounds like a selfish bastard who always begins his arguments with "listen" and "to put it plainly"?
The list goes on. Who cares? You care. Why do you care? Who knows.
Depending on who you are, you might care, or you might not. You probably don't. You probably keep pursuing these lines of thought because you think you are bored. At least, thats what you tell yourself.
But is it really worth it? To upset another, especially the more liquid one, it is like cutting at your own arms.

"Or something. I guess it really doesn't matter. Nothing matters. "
Thats a lie. Just because after everything is done, nothing is left, does not leave people able to go around doing stupid shit.

"What a retard. I keep reasoning with him, and all he gives is flawed logic. Blah blah blah, copy paste all my cool arguments"
Try a clearer line of argument. In fact, a lot of time, all that happens is that you rehash similar arguments again. But I could be wrong. And stop making excuses.

""Never gotten people. Never have. Never will.""
How many more times
Quote the same emo fag
You are not an anime character. You are in no way inclined to behave like those "cool" antisocialism antiheros. Not cool.

"Listen. To put it plainly, you should just shut up and drop your case. You aren't going to gain any ground"
Don't listen to the dumbass who tells you to listen to you. Why the fuck would he decide to tell you all to listen if the only thing you are doing in a 1 to 1 conversation is listening and replying? And why are you putting things plainly when most of the time the words immediately afterwards are so damned full of rhetoric?

"[insert angsty blog post about arguments]"
Why did you begin to write a blog post with the intention of stopping internal conflict, when all that you do is create more? All you've done is attack each person, again and again and again.

"[insert blog about blogs]"
Ok, the whole self referencing thing is a little bit old. Sometimes you do it, sometimes you don't. When it is done by silly 13 year olds in the Baulko Bulletin, it looks like shit. When its done on an angsty, hypocritical blog, it makes you want to hit someone in the face.

"Wo bu hwei suo ying wen"
I don't care if you don't speak english

"fnord"
you too

"so..."
Why say that on msn? doesn't ellicit a response no more.

I have a point to prove here

A description of Ozzy, off his blog:

"A person who constantly gets into arguments over meaningless things."

Just randomly spout lies don't you. I am sick of your shit and your leeching, stop begging for food and buy it with your horrendous profits from selling repack boosters. I bet that's illegal anyway.

this is you:

'*flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame* *flame*
I'M HUNGRY"

This guy will meet you soon:

Friday, May 15, 2009

GTFO

A MOST EPIC WIN

Thursday, May 14, 2009

STAR TREKKIN

Star Trekkin' across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin' across the universe,
Only going forward 'cause we can't find reverse.

Lt. Uhura, report.
There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Analysis, Mr. Spock.
It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Star Trekkin' across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin' across the universe,
Only going forward, still can't find reverse.

Medical update, Dr. McCoy.
It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;
it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.

It's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, Jim.

Starship Captain, James T. Kirk:
Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;
we come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, men.

It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;
it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.

Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow, scrape 'em off, Jim.

Star Trekkin' across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin' across the universe,
Only going forward, and things are getting worse!

Engineer, Mr. Scott:
Ye cannot change the laws of physics, laws of physics, laws of physics;
ye cannot cahnge the laws of physics, laws of physics, Jim.

Ah! We come in peace, shoot to kill, shoot to kill, shoot to kill;
we come in peace, shoot to kill; Scotty, beam me up!

It's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead, Jim;
it's worse than that, he's dead, Jim, dead, Jim, dead.

Well, it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, not as we know it;
it's life, Jim, but not as we know it, not as we know it, Captain.

There's Klingons on the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
there's Klingons on the starboard bow, better calm down!

Ye cannot change the script Jim.
Och, #!*& Jimmy.

It's worse than that, it's physics, Jim.

Bridge to engine room, warp factor 9.

Och, if I give it any more she'll blow, Cap'n!

Star Trekkin' across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin' across the universe,
Only going forward 'cause we can't find reverse.

Star Trekkin' across the universe,
On the Starship Enterprise under Captain Kirk.
Star Trekkin' across the universe,
Only going forward, still can't find reverse.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Life isn't as shit as I thought it was

Apparently, falling in love is worse.

Especially if you're me, because then a friend of mine (*coughzzy*) would make fun of me. Who gives a shit about who someone likes? Is it a joke? Should I mock or make fun of someone because they like someone? The answers (in order) are nobody (rivals being an exception), no and shit no.

Also, friend who mocks others, YOU seem to go spineless around the one you like.

Nobody reads this, so I almost want to name everyone I know that likes someone. But because I know someone could stumble upon this, I will not.

I don't like/love anyone right now, making my adolescence easier at the moment. But it won't be long until shit hits the fan

Monday, April 27, 2009

ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA ALARA REBORNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

'tis finally out. have a look HERE

Terminate EPIC WIN
THE BELOW LINK GOES TO FAILBLOG

SPUDS

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface
Consuming/confusing
This lack of self-control I fear is never ending
Controlling/I can't seem

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting/reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It`s haunting how I can't seem...

To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing what is real

Crawling in my skin
These wounds, they will not heal
Fear is how I fall
Confusing, confusing what is real
(There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface)
Consuming, confusing what is real
(This lack of self-control I fear is never ending)
Controlling, confusing what is real.

POTATO

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
Oh, baby don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

What is love
Yeah

Oh, I don't know why you're not there
I give you my love, but you don't care
So what is right and what is wrong
Gimme a sign

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

Oh, I don't know, what can I do
What else can I say, it's up to you
I know we're one, just me and you
I can't go on

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh
Whoa whoa whoa, oooh oooh

What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh
What is love, oooh, oooh, oooh

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more

Don't hurt me
Don't hurt me

I want no other, no other lover
This is your life, our time
When we are together, I need you forever
Is it love

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more
What is love
Oh baby, don't hurt me
Don't hurt me no more (oooh, oooh)

What is love?

Monday, March 16, 2009

TEST 01

Friday, March 13, 2009

JUST TO LET YOU KNOW...

LIFE SUCKS. YES IT DOES. YOU CAN DIE NOW.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

PLZ TO POST COMMENTS

/me is lonely without responses

Saturday, March 7, 2009

anyways i be joining the assassin guild

I play BLACK LOTUS . GG man
i note that this bears no resemblance to Magic The Gathering or the post title. but logic sucks anyway

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

God

Level 99 White Mage

God casts Level 50 World Flood
MANY things die

Hangovers without being drunk?

You must have a test or project.
Awwwww bad luck

Saturday, February 28, 2009

SYSTEM FAILURE

don't click anything

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

TOO MUCH FREE TIME

I BE READING OVER NINE THOUSAND MANGAS ARIGHT NOW
CORRECT GRAMMUR AND SPALLUNG AR FOR TEH WEEKZOR NUBS

SPAMMY MUCH?

WHY DON'T YOU LURK TOO FAR
OH HEY THIS LINK IS PURE UBERNESS
OH AND BY THE WAY HERE'S AN AWESOME VID OF A GUY WHO HAS NO BONES
OR IS THIS ONE THE REAL VIDEO?

OH AND BTW A.D.D. +5 CANS OF COKE = MY CURRENT SITUATION

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

LAGGING YOU OUT

LAGGING YOU OUT

YOU HAVE INDEED LURKED TOO FAR TO BE HERE

LAGGING YOU OUT

They're spying on me AGAIN

anyone have a tinfoil hat?
also, why is marx trying to brainwash me using a christian site?

More on magic

MTG is fun - IF you understand how to play
20 black lotuses and 20 plague rats cause instant win
alpha cards weren't taken care of due to people thinking the cards wouldn't be removed in reprints
HOW TO COUNTER
mox = badass
slivers = i couner with crystaline sliver + dormant sliver
artifacts = shattering/smashing spree
fungus = terror/oblivion ring
weenie = wrath of god/infest

Failure

Failing makes you less arrogant.
for example:
"you afraid of losing? you're going to lose anyway"

I PLAY MAGIC TOO MUCH
slivers, slivers, slivers...
fail
elfballing = mana overload is GOOD
jund = devour
extended madbent = wtf how can you win?
tokens = plz not have infest/wrath

Monday, February 23, 2009

Marx be spying on me. Where's my tinfoil hat?

I have noticed why people don't post comments.

People don't like to write that stupid, good-for-nothing, spammy "input the above text to post" box's jumble. It's sometimes completely illegible.

Maybe it's because I technically have ADD/ADHD. It really doesn't help that I can't stay focused for very long... OOH A BUTTERFLY

ALSO I CAN'T SPELL. EVER.

or is it "spall"?